Why were these difficult moments ordained for you? Why do some tests seem to keep going on forever-are they tests or punishments? Why is this the life you have to live? What is your purpose? Why you?
Why not you?
In this life-changing Ramadan series, join Dr. Omar Suleiman to transform your perspective on life, qadar, and what has been decreed for you. Know this: the world isn't against you
-everything has only been perfectly set up for you.
This story doesn't start with you. It starts with Al-Lawh al-Mahfoodh, the sacred, preserved tablets that carry all of decree until the Final Hour. All of existence, our history, and our future, stored in one place. The darkness of the world, and all of its light. If all has been written, how do I have free will? Are my choices my own?
Of all time periods, why did Allah choose for you to be born in this one? Would it have been easier if you were born at the time of the Prophet (s)? How does your time period impact your life's purpose? You are inevitable. You are the answer to someone's du'a decades ago, and your life and your choices are informed by the prayers, experiences, and circumstances of your ancestors generations before you. Eventually, your life and purpose will inform that of your children's children as well. What will you do with the cards you've been dealt by your ancestors? What cards will you leave behind for your descendants?
Birth is one of Allah's greatest signs and miracles for us, and it encompasses so many blessings for you and your family.
What exactly is the rizq associated with birth? What is the spiritual significance of the practices that we perform at birth, from adhan, to tahneek, and even the aqeedah?
Your family can be your greatest blessing or your greatest test. You may pray for a peaceful family, and for Allah to protect them, but sometimes the conflict comes from within.
Depending on your upbringing, you can feel strength and confidence from your caretakers, or a strong internal critic from unfair parenting or expectations. But there is wisdom in the circumstance of your family, and the person it shaped you to become. What lessons can you learn (or unlearn) from your parents, your family, and their sacrifice?
How much control do you have over the qualities you possess? What aspects of your personality are innate, and what are you to cultivate? Everyone is born with a set of gifts and talents, and given the opportunity to nurture them. Will you nurture them in a way to bring you closer to Allah, or will they draw you further away?
There is no greater blessing after faith than good health.
Good health gives you the opportunity to strive in the way of Allah and earn blessings. But what if it wasn't decreed for you, and you are living with disability or illness? Allah has placed reward in both ability and disability, and there is always something to strive for in every circumstance.
Have you ever felt like you hate the body that you're in, or that you wish you were more beautiful? Beauty is more often a test than a blessing, and true beauty lies in what is beneath the surface. Allah has fashioned you to be uniquely you, and that includes your form, but He doesn't look at your appearance, but your heart. And what's on the inside makes the outside even more beautiful.
Is it better to be tested with wealth or poverty? Are you better off because you work harder than others? Is it your fault if you're in poverty? How can we understand the blessing of riza, while also understanding the blessings of being poor? It all starts from a single truth: Allah has already decreed your riza for you.
Whether you're burdened by providing for your family, caring for your loved ones, or carrying the emotional wounds of others, Allah promises great reward in carrying the burdens of others and maintaining ties of kinship. And if you turn away from all of that, Allah promises loss, not just of reward but of self.
Some people have the trial of discovering Islam for the first time later in life. Others who were born Muslim, however, may find themselves at a point where they ask, "Am I really a Muslim or was I just raised that way?" The act of renewing your faith can be just as hard as discovering it for the very first time. What both of these cases have in common, in whatever circumstances or trials that they hold, is Allah's decree to draw you closer to Him.
Despite your desperate pleas, why does it feel like Allah isn't listening to your du'as? The answer is heavy with the wisdoms of the All-Knowing, and touches upon circumstance, intent, and the hidden ways Allah lays out paths for you that you could've never imagined. Sometimes, the ability to pour your heart out into du'a is itself a blessing, and other times, the greatest reward is in patiently waiting for the answer to your prayer. And just as du'a is a means of changing your decree, building that regular communication with God might just be what He has written for you in the first place. And what better could you ask for?
When you make Istikharah du'a, you're asking Allah to guide you towards the right choice, a special consultation with Him. But if the results don't turn out good for you, why was it facilitated? What was the point of your Istikharah?
Ibn al-Qayyim said, "If the veils were lifted and you could see behind the scenes what Allah does out of kindness for you, your heart would melt out of love for Him..."
Allah answers every prayer according to His time and plan and gives the best results for it. So when you ask for good, and something bad happens, know that it was His Wisdom that deemed what you thought was bad to be better for you.
And when you finally decide to let go of the outcome you so desperately want and humbly submit to Allah's Wisdom, the tranquility you'll feel will be unparalleled.
A lot of us grow up with fairy tales about magical encounters, butterflies, perfect fantasies, and happy endings. But is there such a thing as true love and soulmates in Islam? What does Islam say about love? The Seerah is full of stories about marriage and love that are timelessly relatable, and speak of all types of fates. Because just like riza, romantic love is also decreed by Allah, and what Al-Wadud writes for you of love is more perfect for you than anything you could ever desire.
"If only things had been different..."
"What if I had done something else..."
The phrases "what if" and "if only" are often used for regret or to dream of a seemingly better reality...but if you adopt a more fruitful perspective, you can use the phrases to see what you were saved from instead.
Regret can be inescapable, but when we wonder "what if" that regret has the potential to turn into something worse. Why does "what if" open the doors to Shaytan, and what are positive ways to use "if only"?
"If only things had been different..."
"What if I had done something else..."
The phrases "what if" and "if only" are often used for regret or to dream of a seemingly better reality...but if you adopt a more fruitful perspective, you can use the phrases to see what you were saved from instead.
Regret can be inescapable, but when we wonder "what if" that regret has the potential to turn into something worse. Why does "what if" open the doors to Shaytan, and what are positive ways to use "if only"?
Why do seemingly undeserving people always get everything good in life? Why does everything seem to come harder for you, even though you've worked so hard? And why do other people take credit for your hard work, while you are left in the dust?
Sometimes, what you see as someone else being unfairly favored might actually be qadar at work in your favor. So beware of envy and defeat overtaking you, and make an effort to recognize the wisdoms in your life. Because when it comes to Allah's decree, it's not the most materially blessed or loudest mouth that gets far ahead, but the most grateful and perceptive heart.
What if you were the oppressor where you thought you were being oppressed by someone else? What if you were the aggressor instead of the victim? What if you were the one who wronged someone else? Perspective is often a flash of insight from Allah that helps you grow and realize how you could've been better, and that introspection can be one of the greatest gifts He has bestowed upon you that can change your qadar completely.
I'm so lonely...
The fear of loneliness can be crippling. Worse yet is when you feel lonely in a world full of people and can't see a way out. Could being alone be what's decreed for you in this life? No matter the type of loneliness you are experiencing, the Most Merciful has wisdoms and greater gifts written for those who find closeness with Him.
Every soul must taste death, and every human must experience loss. But how do you deal with that loss, accept the reality of death, and understand a decree that seems to take away what you love so dearly?
Change is inevitable. We move through cycles of opposites: of happiness and sadness, of good and bad.
But what does it mean when everything is suddenly falling apart? When you face a loss patiently, but are instead faced by regression in a domino effect, the chips of your life falling down rapidly, one after another.
What do you do when it feels like even the blessings you were grasping on to are now rapidly being snatched away?
Why does it feel like Allah is taking away the little that was holding you together in the first place?
Do you worship God on edge? Is your relationship with Him dependent on everything going right in your life? If so, then you're missing out on something important that Allah promised us: He tests those whom He loves.
Tests are opportunities to learn life lessons, grow in faith, and earn forgiveness for past sins. So when you experience a hardship in your life, remember that the pain of it will be temporary, but the reward you can earn through it will be eternal.
When your sins pile up, it can be easy to feel despair.
But Allah is always waiting to welcome you back to Himself. No matter what you've done, no matter how long it has been, don't let anyone tell you that you cannot find healing in repentance. Remember the verse in Surah az-Zumar: "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves by sinningl, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins."
Why do innocent people suffer? Why is there so much tragedy happening around the world?
When these questions fill your mind, be grateful. It means that you have a heart that is not numb to the struggles of your fellow humans.
There are many answers to these questions from an Islamic perspective, and each takes time to explore. But as an individual, the most important thing you can do is ask yourself the corresponding questions: When innocent people suffer, what can you do? What is your role? How can the suffering of others snap you out of complacency and into action to alleviate the pain of your brothers and sisters in humanity?
Your choices shape your legacy and your destiny. A life dedicated to Allah and full of barakah may be enriched and prolonged. On the other hand, the scholars say that sin destroys the blessings of your years and your wealth on Earth. The choice between a fruitful, blessed life and a sinful one is always yours to make.
The measure of your life is not in how many years you live, but in how well you live it. Are you helping others, giving generously, and building a positive legacy? Or are you wasting time and neglecting doing any good? Many narrations indicate a connection between good deeds and a prolonged life. Others warn of the danger of reaching old age without pleasing Allah. Which category will you fall into?
You may not have a terminal illness, but death is always near. The details of when and where and how your life will end are up to Allah. Your role is to build your roster of good deeds, so that when your time comes, the angels will inspect you and find feet that stood in qiyam, a heart full of taqwa, and a mind full of Qur'an.
If you've spent years in sin, repent. If you feel like your sins outweigh every good deed you've ever done, repent. To despair in the mercy of Allah is a trick of Shaytan. And as you near your death, Shaytan will try even harder to create feelings of fear and despair, but as the Prophet (s) told us in his final illness: "Let not one of you die except with a good opinion of Allah."
Your date of death has arrived. There are many signs that will hint to you and those around you about the state in which you will meet your Lord. As your vision blurs, your body stills, and your soul departs your body - will the angels of death greet you with reassurance or with doom?
During its funeral, a righteous soul will wish to speed up its body's burial, so that it can move on to enjoy its time in the barzakh. It will hear its family and loved ones pray and mourn over it as it is placed back in the earth.
It will face the qiblah to reflect its dedication to prayer during life. And it will answer correctly the angels who come to question it. When you die, will this be your soul?
Remember: your life is worth it. Your qadar is woven through every pain, every happiness, every hardship, and every joy that you will face. And one day, in the akhirah, you will see the fruits of every good intention you had, and you will understand why Allah chose to write your soul into existence.
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